" I wanted to play a prank on her, but I can see I hadn't really thought it out," 35 year old Shannon Kramer admitted to police officers from his hospital bed in Jacksonville, Florida. "I'd driven my girlfriend out to the beach in my old Mustang, and she got out and was walking around. I was sitting in the drivers seat and I thought it would be kinda funny to shoot a firework at her out of the window.

I had a box of 6 inch rockets with me so I aimed one at her and lit it. Only then did I realise that the electric window was wound up. I couldn't wind it down because the key wasn't in the ignition. I suppose I should have opened the door and got out, but by the time I'd thought of that, the rocket had gone off and was whooshing round and round inside the car. It was awful. So bright and loud and hot and fast. I thought I was dead. I couldn't see, couldn't hear, it set fire to my hair and clothes and ended up jammed between my legs shooting flames into my buttocks.

When it was all over I tried to get out, but I couldn't stand up or walk, and I was temporarily blinded. I've been told I've got second degree burns to my buttocks, legs and groin. I've lost my eyelashes and most of my body hair, and the rocket even scorched an outline of my sandals onto my feet. I suppose its lucky the rest of them didn't go off, or I'd have really been in trouble."

Dashboard Jesus Kills Ohio Teen
by Elroy Willis
CINCINNATI (EAP) -

A Cincinnati teenager was killed yesterday when her plastic Jesus dashboard figure was driven into her chest by her car's airbag which inflated during an accident involving two other vehicles.

17-year-old Darlene Fulps of Cincinnati was apparently holding her Jesus figure close to her chest when she ran through a red light and collided with two other vehicles in a busy intersection.

"The air bag inflated and pushed the head of Jesus straight through her heart," said Tom Young, medical examiner at the scene of the accident. "If it wasn't for the plastic Jesus, Ms. Fulps would still be alive today."

"Air bags have saved thousands of lives, but in this case it actually took a life, thanks to Jesus," said police officer Graham Pryor, first officer at the scene.

Robert Fulps, Darlene's father and devout Christian man said "It was just our daughter's time to go, and we can't question the actions of God. My daughter loved Jesus and worshipped Him, and I think she's probably talking to Him in heaven right now."

"We gave our daughter the dashboard Jesus for her birthday last year, and she really liked it," said Mrs. Gladys Fulps. "It's too bad that Jesus ended up killing her, but we believe she's in heaven now, and we're happy for her, and hope to re-unite with her when we get to heaven."

"We're just glad our daughter had Jesus in her heart when she died," said Mr. and Mrs. Fulps.

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